Red Dwarf Character Profile

The Red Dwarf Cast are pictured above.

From left to right: Cat, Rimmer, Kryten, Lister, Kochanski & Holly.

Dave Lister:

He pricks his ears clean with can openers, he trims is toenails with his teeth, he cares less about his appearance than a member of the Dutch royal family and he sprays the contents of Sugar Puff sandwiches around his bunkroom. A barely human grossed out slimeball, Dave Lister has the unearned distinction of being the last man alive in a godless universe.

Arnold Rimmer:

To Kryten, he's 'an incompetent vending-machine repair man with a Napoleon complex'. To the Cat, he's 'the human equivalent of a visible panty line' -- and the man's own description of himself as a 'tosspot by royal appointment' comes pretty close to the mark too. And yet there is a glorious destiny in store for this sad specimen of humankind, if only he can find the courage to reach out for it. His name is Arnold Judas (not Jonathan, as he claims) Rimmer, and his life ended on Red Dwarf during a radiation accident. But that was only the beginning.

Cat:

He's vain and narcissistic. He's selfish, self-centred and shallow. He possesses no tact at all and he has an ego the size of a planet. But he is a cat, after all, and he considers these to be his best features. Anyway, he has proved himself consistently useful to his crewmates: on at least two occasions in his lifetime, he has had plans taken up by the others, and his quivering nostril hairs can detect danger even through the void of space. He's an excellent pilot -- he can make Blue Midget dance, never mind fly -- and, when something needs doing, you don't have to tell him twice. Well, maybe you do.

Holly:

A spaceship the size of a city takes some running, and that's where Holly comes in. Or at least, he did once -- for not even a tenth-generation AT hologrammic computer is impervious to the ravages of time. Holly used to have an IQ of six thousand; now he's frequently outsmarted by the hand drier in the men's toilets, and it's doubtful that he could even spell IQ.

Kryten:

He may be a pompous, ridiculous-looking, mother-hen-clucking, irascible buffoon. His head may resemble, at best, a huge, half-chewed, rubber-tipped pencil and, at worst, a novelty condom for the enormously endowed. He may have been voted 'the big-eared ugly one' by his own spare beads. But it's unlikely that the Red Dwarf crew would have survived without the abilities, the intelligence and, above all, the laundry skills of their service mechanoid, Kryten 2X4B 523P.

Kristine Kochanski:

Kristine Kochanski (she may have a middle name beginning with Z, but we can't be sure of that) isn't like her shipmates. She's bright, intelligent and witty. She likes opera, knows her cheeses, eats low-fat yoghurt and thinks crystalline formations are 'faberoo'. She has a teddy bear called Booboo, and she makes jokes about things like the third largest city in Vietnam and nineteenth-century Bath. She remembers things from school, and her greatest accomplishment isn't a line on a loo wall somewhere marking her highest ever pee. A more unlikely addition to the motley crew of Red Dwarf can scarcely be imagined -- and, given half a chance, she'd probably leave it like a shot and return to her home dimension.

Captain Frank Hollister:

A lot of what we know of Frank Hollister comes from Rimmer, and is therefore less than reliable. Is it true, for example. that he has his own cinema pick'n'mix factory in his quarters? That he owns a walk-in fridge? That he lists his hobbies as chewing and swallowing? Or that his family crest is made up of two cream buns and a profiterole? Well it could be.

Character profiles extracted from: "Red Dwarf Programme Guide" written by Chris Howarth & Steve Lyons; published by Virgin Publishing; 2000. I did this without permission so if there are any complaints give us a yell and I'll do something about it.